Ted missing again

Has been missing since the 18th - here's hoping he returns or does a boogle and is spotted in the locality soon.

Santa Monica

We took off from the motel car park well before sunrise, in fact we'd only slept about 2 or 3 hours. I started the driving, but we swapped on the outskirts of LA because there was enough light for me to want to take photos.


We overshot the ventura highway,

but drove around a little - I suspect we were in the Hollywood hills, which made the hunt for the sign a bit difficult unless we'd happened across it up close - which we didn't.


Got a McDonald's breakfast,

noting the american boast culture


Drove around hollywood a little and went to Santa Monica. Went motel hunting along the boulevard, balking at some of the high prices.
Spotted a Segway store next to the Hotel California; made a mental note for future reference.

We were pretty addled from all the driving and lack of sleep, so we cruised a couple more boulevards then found the Foghorn Inn in Marina Del Rey. Got a great deal there, reduced it to their rock bottom price of about 80 bucks by paying cash - and heeded a cheesecake factory warning: The room we had was right next to it, and they started their dishwashers at 2am. We slept the morning away, then headed to Santa Monica to take a look at the promenade.

Found a beachside parking lot and went walking.


Went to the pier and crossed over to Ocean Boulevard. Saw Skate City and had a look. I asked the assistant about rollerblades, and liked the look of the new models on offer. Fancied this pair with larger, extendable wheels. Thought I might get a pair tomorrow...

We were in search of something to eat, and ended up at a rather expensive sushi place, where they refused to serve me beer because I'd left my wallet in the car in preparation to swim in the sea. That help decide who was designated driver today.

The sushi was good, and we were entertained by women on the next table who hated theirs, proclaiming the extra special tuna to be unfit for their cat

We went back to the beach where I had a swim


would have been there for ages, but Anton wasn't up for it so I felt guilty. We went on to Venice Beach, where I spotted another skate shop. As I tried on this pair, Anton went next door for a beer. I had some issues with cash machines not dishing out enough money in one go (I get charged in the US and in London for each withdrawal, and a $200 limit is a piss-take, especially when you want $260). Oh well, managed to resolve it with Ant's help, and was now on 8 wheels :)

Joined Anton for a beer - a duvel no less. There was a strange couple on the table next to us. Glum, not talking to eachother. Suddenly a leopard-thonged Tarzan freak with silver balls started talking to them. We were remarking about the variety of Venice Beach contraptions we saw, and today's display was topped off by a man riding this furry bull on wheels. I think it doubled as a beer cooler, or am I confusing it with another of the offerings.

Anton's Kidney started playing up as he walked, and I skated, back to the car. Good progress though, as he'd lasted most of the day this time, indeed the sun had set by now.

We got back to the Foghorn, dumped the car and got ready to go out. The green phone labelled TAXI in reception didn't work, so the receptionist ended up phoning us a cab, which arrived promptly enough. We went to Zanzibar, took the advice of the bouncers, which was to go in for a drink, then come out and get dinner so we didn't have to queue once it got busy.

We went in search of dinner, but it was getting late, and the italian restaurants we passed were closing up. We found the main shopping street - 3rd Street, where there were some cheapo food outlets we didn't fancy much. Instead, we settled for Johnny Rocket burger, which was probably the worst of the lot, on balance. Greasy floors, lots of deep fried onion rings and fries , and of course, a double 6oz burger with swiss and bacon. Was officially burgered out after this. Again..

We got back to Zanzibar, and the bouncers' advice paid dividends, as the queue went round the corner. It filled up with people inside, but soon became apparent that the best totty around was the roving barmaid. One curly haired blonde of note was dancing like she was on methamphetamines or something. She got up on stage at one point and Anton remarked favourably on her dancing. Must have been the drink - she looked like a royal spacker to me.

We got a cab back and slept like corpses. So much for the dishwasher racket.

Next day, and first on the agenda was a drive up to Malibu

where we checked out the hills and got brunch at a place that was teetering over the rocks.


Dissing the valet parking proved economical, in spite of the locals' literary attempts to encourage it

Every woman working there was totty except for the one that served us. Typical.
Anton had Steak & Eggs

and was raving about them, while I had a better than average salmon on mash dish.


The Lemongrass and ginger brulee was very nice.

Drove back wanting a bit more skating on the promenade. Got there, parked in a different lot, as yesterday's was full. As I skated towards the pier, Anton broke into a run. Got there and had to stop and tend to a harsh attack of the shinsplints. We went up over towards Ocean again - now I noticed that skating up a slope can be very tiring very quickly. Went up to 3rd, checked the closing times - good news, we could come back and go shopping for more clothes, hopefully this time more for Anton.. We went back to the promenade to make use of the daylight.

We had a look at what was going on on the pier

I had to take the blades off for this as the wooden pier was so chewed up and full of nails - which I cursed every time I stood on.
We'd just missed an annual food tasting extravaganza - $15 to taste something from every caterer in Santa Monica. Anton wasn't bothered, as he'd just had explosive steak & eggs.


Came down off the pier, noting a beach graveyard exhibit on the way

Passed the Pink Floyd busker and the Bubbleman and got a Date Shake while Anton opted for a much more flavourful banana and strawberry one. I took longer to finish mine, so Anton went to the bike hire shop next door. He'd been tossing up between hiring a bike or a segway - we'd bumped into three segwayed brits earlier, and that had been inspirational. In the end, the $75 for two hour price tag proved a little much, so he hired a bike instead.

He'd gone down the road by the time I'd finished the shake and put the blades back on, so I had to phone to locate him. We agreed to meet up by the acrobatics area where people were balancing on people, whilst others did hula hoops.



We went down the promenade to Venice beach again

where we saw some people cavorting with rollerblades.

Went as far as we could before the ground became unskateable and doubled back.

Stopped for a beer where this Philipino girl, Teresa, started talking to us.

We mentioned that we had been toying with a trip to Hawaii over Vegas. She'd lived there, and recommended it to us but we were set on playing some poker by now.

We went back to the bike hire place just as he was closing up! Wonder what he'd have done about being a bike short.. Anyway, I decided it was time to hang up my boots, so went back to the car to change back into sandals. Anton had a beer next door to the bike hire place while he was waiting. Got back there and talked to the bouncer about the police attitude to people smoking inside the line, or taking their beer outside the line. Rules and regulations starting to beggar belief.

Now it was time to go shopping for Anton's jeans.

burger with garlic noodles
locked in the carpark!
back to that bar
anton Zonked

Road Trip Day One - Carmel bag

Left San Jose and headed south. As we were about to commit to a direction, I remembered we were swapping the car at SF airport so we quickly detoured. We dropped the car off and trundled with all our baggage back to the car hire reception area, quickly realising a strategic mistake as it was Friday lunchtime and the car hire desks had massive fast growing queues. We pondered the prospect of not having a car and the panic started to set in. Anton jumped the Hertz queue with his company's privilege pass, only to be sent to the back because we hadn't booked anything. Our sphincters widened a touch at this news.

We chose the smallest queue, this was for National rentacar, and wondered why it was the smallest. Were they the most expensive or what? While in the queue, I phoned Alamo using 411 to get the SF airport number (hey, beats waiting in line half an hour) and booked a convertible at a modest rate. We decided against the Mustang because we had so much luggage. Sebring it would have to be, alas. Before we could jump to the massive Alamo queue, we got to the front desk at National, where we compared prices and for the sake of 20 bucks decided to just get their Sebring.

On to Gilroy, where I went on a veritable spree at the factory outlets, buying a year's worth of clothing on the simple basis that I was perhaps saving money. Fooled the folks at Kenneth Cole into selling me odd sized shoes for my odd sized feet. Thought I was sprung when the clerk looked closely at the shoes, but got away with the subterfuge.

We pulled out of Gilroy and hit the road, heading for the famous coastal road, Highway 1. I was reminded of last year's cloud chasing as we passed Carmel. Up the road, we stopped at viewpoint to take photos as the sun went down. I got my camera bag out of the boot, set the bag down and took my camera out. Took a couple of shots of the seawashed rocks below, and a couple of girls asked me to take their photo. I did so, and they giggled, got into their car and took off. There was a car parked beside theirs, containing an older woman who turned out to be their mother. She promptly invited us to follow her back to her place where there was beer, barbeque and good views. She said to flash her if we needed to take any photos.

We followed the mother's SUV further along the coast, all the while thinking it a bit odd, forward, scary of the mother to make such an invite, but she'd persuaded us they do that all the time. We wound eachother up about the possibilities, ranging from Psycho to Shotgun weddings with the daughters' ugly sisters. We were thinking about cutting and running, but our sense of adventure took over. About 10 minutes down the road, it occured to me that I'd left my camera bag (replete with passport, iPod, electronic leads, oh yes and camera equipment) at the viewpoint! Sod flashing the mother, Anton quickly span round and we screamed back , my stress levels soaring. After a few "it's got to be round this corner"s, we found the spot. There was another photographer setting up his tripod there, but sadly no bag where I'd left him. I asked him if he'd seen anything, eyed up his black rucksack in the boot, and finally managed to eek out of him the fact that there had been two women and a man, in their 40's or 50's, looking suspiciously at him, then making off in a large white vehicle.

Panic turned to terror. We drove further back up the road, saw a large white vehicle parked up at the grocery store round the corner, so stopped and went in, hoping to see people matching the photographer's description. No such luck - just a dog, a kid, a customer and the shop owner who was getting ready to close. The white truck actually belonged to Bob, the shop owner. A couple of customers came and went as he rifled through the phonebook looking under S for Sherriff and P for Police. I tried inside the cover and all the emergency numbers were there. Anton suggested calling the police rather than the sherriff, but Bob assured us that the sherriff was in charge of this area, so he tried that number, but was told it wasn't serious enough to warrant the deputy leaving his desk, so he was put through to an automated line, which he handed to me. I quickly ascertained this was only going to be useful for wasting my time and testing my patience, so hung up. I was now about to practice pirouettes of stress, when Anton suggested again that we call the police. They had, just that minute, been handed a bag that matched my description. I could hardly contain my relief. We left after I'd photographed Bob and taken his email

At the police station, the officer behind the counter actually went through the ritual of asking my name before matching my face to the passport he had in his hand. I think he was teasing, but he managed to hide the humour from me. I wanted to meet the people who'd returned the bag, but the sergeant said they'd gone to dinner in some nearby restaurant and he didn't want to tell me where they were staying. He gave me his number so I could call back and he could try to connect us.

Driving the coastal Highway 1 at night precluded any chance of stunning views, but we were hell bent on making progress. By the time our stomachs were instructing a dinner stop, it was getting a bit late. We got some snacky food at a convenience store, then went in search of a bar which was still serving food. Dissed a place that proclaimed Pizza in neon in search of a burger, but got turned away at the Bar & Grill down the road. Choices were limited in this two bit town called San Simeon. We returned to the pizza place, only to find they had started chiming up with a Karaoke night. Some truly awful noises coming from the quite remarkable specimens of humanity on hand.

We ordered pizza and Anton went up the road in search of petrol and hostels. He returned just in time for dinner and told me that he'd talked to the police who'd told him about late opening gas stations, potential motels and such about 4 miles up the road.

The barmaid sang her number as we ate our pizzas outside - the only reasonable effort we witnessed. Well, that I witnessed. Anton was being chatted up by some son of a preacher man.

Back on the road, and about 20 miles up the road, we decided to start looking for a place to stop for the night. We found a Super 6, but it was full. Parked the car at another motel in the vicinity, but the bitch on the reception desk wouldn't even allow us to talk to her. We took our revenge by sleeping in the car in her carpark.

There was a notable farting contest before sleep, which had me walking round the car, flapping the doors while anton sniggered gleefully. I had my own back on arrival, but it did take a while to induce.

World's Greatest Burger - Revisited

Went on a sunset drive on Skyline Boulevard with Haris in the Crossfire yesterday, problem was the sun had just set, so it turned into a bit of a night drive which made landscape photography without a tripod just too tricky to be fun, but the view was incredible none the less.

After that, it was straight to the Los Gatos Brewing Company to see if they were still able to live up to the World's Greatest Burger accolade I gave them just over a year ago. Saw Jeff there and he welcomed me warmly. Came over to our table and declared he was buying my burger. I promptly went for a double burger with bacon, sauteed mushrooms, swiss cheese and jalapenos, which earned a second visitation so he could jokily complain about me having to go and order the $18 burger.


I can proudly state, that for the second year running, I've not had a burger to quite match what's on offer at the LGB.

I've just had a peggy sue burger for breakfast (would be rude to go there and not at least sample their burger, as they devote over half their menu to it - 19 different "classics" which amounted to different combinations of cheeses with bacon, mushrooms and the odd other topping). It filled a gap but was unexceptional.

Going on a road trip starting today - the plan is pack, check out, take Paul's bike back, drop the car off in SF, hire a new car, hopefully a convertible, grab another LGB burger for lunch, head over to Gilroy for a clothing spree and then make our way over to LA. Might go to Hearst Castle off Highway 1, Targeting Santa Monica or wherever we get to for the night. Might stay a day or two in LA then head off to Vegas, where we hope to fund the whole trip or better on the Holdem tables. After that it's death valley, Yosemite and back. Let's see if the plan holds up.

Burger of Monstrous Proportions

Why didn't I photograph this? I really need to document the milestone burgers. We went to the Gordon Biersch bar last night and ordered a starter to share. Suddenly Anton's ING clients materialised on the table next to us, so we joined them. I then ordered the swiss burger with extra bacon and ... an extra patty. As the patties are 10oz each, this became officially the largest burger I'd ever had. I remember looking regretfully down at the last half-pound or so, thinking I should have held back from going for the record, but that thought didn't last too long. My stomach must be expanding, because I didn't feel too stuffed by it.

California 2006

Heathrow too early
Giraffe - well done. They don't trust their beef enough to allow medium well, let alone medium rare. What a crock.
Flight - uneventful, by all accounts
Marriott - dodged tipping the coach driver who was so eager to get my suitcase for me. Thanks! You want to shake my hand? Awkward moment? Great! Am I English? You'd better believe it!

First burger - SPIKED.

Not a good start. I asked them to make sure there were no tomatoes and they failed me. I sent it back, only to see they'd just picked out the obvious bit, leaving behind the most insidious jelly-brains lurking under the lettuce, waiting to pounce.

Iceland in brief

Friday at work - turn up in time for lunch with Adam, who's leaving for japan, complete with small rucksack filled with change of clothes and miscellaneous packings and medium rucksack filled with camera gear. Pizza express. Dale joined us from the other direction, and stirred Adam up about the French trip

Arrived at work only to quickly fix a problem, then whip Paul out with me for iceland shopping
go to 47° - an action shop. They have sweet FA that I need, but point me in the direction of Kathmandu, a specialist shop for hiking etc.
at Kathmandu, time running out, quickly spend £204 on shoes, large rucksack, trousers, waterproof trousers, socks. Actually steal a pair of socks that I put on to try out the shoes with 2 pairs of socks on :) kept the shoes on, putting my leg up on the counter so it could be scanned.

leave on the tube for Hammersmith. Arrive at hammersmith having phoned sis during brief period of overgroundness on the piccadilly line, one minute late
she takes a further 10 minutes to turn up

we arrive at heathrow a planned 3.5 hours before the flight. crappe du bull, if you ask me
Checking in the baggage takes time, so we play "spotted", a game that is like I spy for ugly people or freaks.

body shop issues - she spends 20 minutes choosing the correct mattifier after the correct shade and consistency of powder eludes her. When she finally goes to pay, the downtrodden (but ridiculously orange eye-shadowed) assistant asks if we've checked in our baggage. She sighs and says we can't buy anything from her shop, before telling me her woes in her deep trannie voice.

brief nick, brief. do you know the meaning of this word? don't you have work to do? oh you do, great. so why are you spending so much time in the details of the outbound flight? fox ache.

so we land in Keflavik, rent a car and drive to Reykjavik, sleep at a hotel. Point of note? egg smell. Now every time I fart, I'm going to announce "must be lots of geothermic activity in this area.."

oh yeah and I can navigate. El drove from the airport, and we got to the hotel no problem. When I was driving the next morning, it was panic situation after panic situation as a certain somebody can't navigate, won't navigate. I think it's a ploy to stay behind the wheel.

The hotel was near this funky church which we photographed at night

and again from the hotel window in the morning

went to Geysir in the morning, the site of the original eponymous but now dormant geyser, an hour or so's drive. There were other geysers in the area, one of which was active. It went off as we were arriving, only snatched one snap of that,

then we had to wait 10 minutes for the next spurt, so took photos of some nearby geothermic pools

finally the geyser burst into life again, so we got some shots and left.

went to Gullfoss - an amazing waterfall. Photographed it and buggered off, stopping at the Giffshop for a sarnie

4 more hours of driving

to Skaftafell, where we had a hotel booked. Got to the visitor centre, asked about the ice climbing we had booked, found another ice climber - a little dutch woman called sheleshtaa (celesta in english). No instructor in sight - thought them to be AWOL

stayed positive, dumped bags in hotel and got changed into kathmandu clothes

arrived at the climbers tent, and a party of 12 yanks turned up on a stag do. kinell.

we all got fitted out for crampons and made our way to the glacier by minibus. Ice climbing ensued, which was a lot of fun.

Ice axes, ropes, crampons. Took turns going down a crevasse and climbing our way out - El had a panic moment down there,

which added to her thrill when she managed to claw her way back up.

the sun was setting on the horizon, and the whole thing was overrunning because of the yanx. Dinner finished at the hotel at 930 and we were getting agitated on the mountain at 9, thinking we'd have to ditch the salmon pasta for some dodgy sandwich.

Got to the hotel and convinced the waiter to hold the kitchen. Had a nice, if expensive dinner in the end. The waiter was funny and the music mix pleasing, which is a rarity.

Next day, we went hiking. 7 hours we were out, with 5 hours of walking. A moment in the scree was quite hairy but a lot of fun was had - stunning scenery. The route was a peninsula between 2 glaciers.

Svartifoss

other hikers: ugly fat woman, blue and red.

bearded vikings: I showed el how to use macro mode on her camera

Viking beard pond

Saw a weird mushroom

just before we arrived at the edge of the valley on the left

I was distracted by this caterpillar

then we looked over the edge

El poses on a cliff

Spotted another of these caterpillars, and teased it into a suitable position

further up, we asked a personality free couple which way the trail went - they were as knowledgeable as they were genial. Time for a quick Esher Bonfire

and some more snaps before we had a go at the hard way, but an unsteady moment in the scree

steered us back to the easy path.

lost track of the trail markers for a bit, and the relief was obvious when we saw one

we reached the big glacier on the other side, and had a brief explore.
Onwards, knees were hurting as we descended, but we found the moss to have a dampening effect, which allowed us to start running again.

Another chance encounter with our caterpillar friend.. stalking us.

black and white weirdo

cumin picking grannie

None of the predicted drizzle arrived to dampen our hike, which was great

Just as we arrived back at the visitor centre, the rain started coming down - unbelievable timing. Our elation was completed by watching all the other hikers leaving in foul moods and waterproofs.

Then we wondered , shall we bother to see the icebergs? 40 minute drive in the wrong direction. We bothered. It was worth it - we found a window in the clouds and it was stunning.

big drive back to Reykjavic as the sun set, got caught by 3 consecutive speed cameras -front facing buggers. swapped with sis and she duly got caught by 2. back to the hotel for a well earned sleep

next day, we went to the blue lagoon

which was much needed after the descending in the hike had taken its toll on our knees and ankles. wore my first and second ever face packs :) funny patches of high temperature water (really hot on the surface, not so bad underneath) kept us on our toes.

after that, I sampled the KFC - truly great zinger, truly awful wings. It was raining in Keflavik, which was pleasing as we were leaving. Bit of a struggle to find a petrol station so we could return the car with a full tank, but all was well in the end.
Smooth flight home, trouble free journey across London, ordered my Indian when I got above ground at Canary wharf, the guy was there to greet me when I arrived.